Every night is like this in the happy house.

I had a dream where I was popping ecstasy pills, and I was still high when I woke up.  Dreams can be so powerful man.  Omg.

Warning: Video contains mild language.

Bonus materials.

*Drink More Water is a running joke among friends who know Jason. He is known to say “drink more water” to girls to show how much he cares for them. He said it so much to the point that “drink more water” now replaces “I love you” in his vocabulary.

When I first brought my friend here, I made up a joke about this bridge. He was with his then girlfriend and we had just finished eating seafood. She was curious how the bridge got its name – Lovers Bridge. I don’t have the answer but that didn’t stop me from making one up.

When couple successfully walk till the end of the bridge, they will live happily ever after. But if they failed to do so, something bad will happen. So once you step foot on that bridge, you must walk till the end. The task is really not that hard to complete, given that the bridge is freakin’ 300 meters more or less.

My friend and his bitch walked halfway and turned back. I joked that they won’t live happily ever after because they do not have the commitment to finish the walk.

True enough, 2 weeks later we found out his girlfriend was pregnant with another dude’s child (seriously, not mine).

I have the same gift as Nostradamus.

…and then he went on to killing rampage.  The emotions I feel when watching this is very similar to the ones I feel when watching Taken.  I rejoice when he kills the villains.  But compared to the bad guys in Taken, the ones here are much more vile and brutal.

The Man from Nowhere

@Le Meridien.

It was a company event and drinks were free flow.  I did myself a favor by drinking as much as I can.  And I end up drinking a lot.

I was the only customer left.  The owner was sitting at the cash register, otherwise my hair stylist and I would be alone in here.  My eyes were closed as she was cutting my hair.  To break the silence, she started a conversation. “You were Ah Wo’s customer right?” she asks.  ”Yes, Ah Wo cuts my hair whenever I come here,” I replied.  ”I thought so, I recognise you,” she said.

I remembers her too, she used to be a shampoo girl and now she has risen from the ranks to be a stylist.  She used to wash my hair before Ah Wo cuts them, but I still don’t know her name.

“I remember you too,” I said.  ”Your name is Jenny right?” I didn’t know why I guessed her name’s Jenny.  Judging by the way she dress, she is more likely to have a faux-Japanese name like Yuki or Miko.  She’s a small town Chinese girl, probably 18-20 years old, and judging by the way she interacts with her co-workers, she’s only fluent in Mandarin.  She probably  reads iFeel magazine as well.

“My name is not Jenny, it’s Fanny! By the way, how do you know? You heard my boss calling me?” she queried.

“No, no.  It was a wild guess really.”

“Liar, you must’ve saw my name on the wall behind the cash register.”

“I didn’t notice, really.”

She stops probing.

After a light moment, I started to talk again. “Do you know what does Fanny mean?,” I ask.

“No, what does it mean?”

“Well, in most English speaking countries, fanny means butt,” I explained.

“Bullshit! You made things up again!”

“I am serious, Fanny means ass.”

While Fanny is or was a taboo word in the English speaking world, it is a popular name among Chinese girls in Johor (especially Batu Pahat).

She made crying faces to show me that she is not pleased I made fun of her name. I told her, “Hey, nothing wrong with Fanny. I love ass, its the first thing I pay attention to when I am checking girls out!” She continues to make sad face while she cuts my hair.

Suddenreee my neck felt something dripping.  I opened my eyes to assess da situation, and  I saw my left ear bleeding.

FANNY CUTS MY EARRRRRRR!

Moral of the story is, when you offend your waiters, they will spit in your food.  But when you offend your hair stylist, they cut your ear.

I am getting older, I ain’t gonna lie.

Many had asked me when I’m going to make another comedy video.  As much as I want to, I just don’t have the time nor motivation to carry on with this.  I have ideas, but they will just remain just that.  I had an epiphany when I was trippin’ on E few months ago: This video thing will get me no where, I should focus on my career, stay healthy and stay out of trouble.  I still have the humor, I just don’t want to be so expose anymore.

The reality in this country is that highest rated shows are vernacular.  My materials are in English, they are considered too niche and urban to have mainstream appeal.  No huge audience equals low ratings, which translate to less advertisers.  I can still upload them online, but I need to monetize my works! No bitch would fuck wit a broke ninja.

Hope you’ll understand.

A scene from Wilson Yip's Juliet in Love

Siem Reap 2010

Juliet in Love , Broken Heart